Friday, 25 October 2013


At 08:50 on Monday 24th October 2012 an earthquake measuring 3.2 on the Richter scale hit Manchester, UK, causing untold disruption and distress -

* Many were woken well before their giros arrived.
* Several priceless cobbled streets were improved.
* Three areas of historically and scientifically significant litter were disturbed.
* Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Manchester. 

A fire place possibly damaged by the earthquake 

One resident, Donna-Marie Dutton, a 15 year old mother-of-three said "It was such a shock, little
Chantal-Bike Shed came running into my bedroom crying. Luckily my youngest two, Brooklyn-Park Bench and Romeo-Showcase Toilets slept through it. I was still shaking when I was shouting at Jeremy kyle later that morning".

Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal for most, and the British Red Cross have so far managed to ship in 800 crates of Sunny Delight to put some colour back into the children’s faces.


£2 buys chips, gravy, mushy peas and blue pop for a family of four.

£10 can take a family to Stockport for the day, where children can play on an unspoiled canal bank among the national collection of shopping trolleys.

£13.50 will buy an 8 year old a Kappa shell suit and hooky cigarettes for a week.

Just 22p will buy a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim!

Everyone's nerves were shattered


Simply email us by return with your credit card details and pin number and we'll do the rest! If you prefer to donate your mobile phone or cash, there are collection points available at your local branches of Paddy Power and most pay day lenders.